You going to eat those fries?

Ever be at a dinner party or out to eat at a nice restaurant?  You got your meat of some sort, a potato, some veggies, perhaps a salad and some dinner rolls.  Everybody starts eating and people are chatting about whatever and then you notice some goofball at the table is systematically eating his food portions one at a time.  I’m not talking about not combining food when eating – like scooping some mashed potatoes on a fork on the way to forking the prime rib and then eating them both on the same fork.  I’m talking about real odd stuff like eating all of one food from the plate before touching any of the other food on the plate.

That is fucking weird.

I once sat next to a guy at business lunch and he ordered fish and chips. And he got a plate full of about five fish planks and a shitload of fries.  He sat there and ate all of the fish before he looked at the fries.  You know at one point, he had to think to himself …. “Man this is a lot of fucking fish, perhaps I can break rank just once and eat a complementary food item to offset the smell of eating three pounds of cod.”

But he sat there and ate all of the fish and then squirted a half gallon of ketchup on his plate and ate his french fries one at a time.  Damn — that is weird as shit.

Vegetable Soup has to be an OCD-moment-from-hell for these types.  I asked the fish-eating guy once about soup and he said that soup is the meal, not the stuff in the soup, so he can eat soup like normal people eat soup.  I thought “Jeesh, he’s actually thought about this odd eating habit and created a loophole.”

Most people eat various food items from their plate and gradually consume all of the food in regular segments so that the last several bites on the plate are generally from each of the various food items. That way you get the various food tastes interacting with each other for the best taste.

I don’t think Wolfgang Puck is sitting around going: “I think I will design a restaurant menu that will attract various OCD oddballs that want to eat a giant mound of mashed potatoes before they take a breath.”

And when everyone is being polite at Christmas dinner complimenting the host/hostess on how good the food is, you get this conversation:

Normal Guest 1 – The food is delicious, the chicken and potatoes taste great
Normal Guest 2 – I agree, this is good chicken … salad is awesome too

Oddball single food eater at a time …
Great corn, text me in 10 minutes on the other stuff