Back in the day there was BYOB for parties where the host was too lazy, cheap or perhaps broke (then why throw a party dipshit) to actually provide the alcohol. These events also tended to have crappy food and games and it overall was a shitty party. Most of the times I would find the dog in the house and play with him all night.
Advance 25 years and now we have BYOD – which means companies today realize that everyone has an iPhone or some droid device and they use it for work calls and email and gawd knows what else. So BYOD (Bring Your Own Device – and that would not include sex toys, you still need to leave those at home) put companies at risk as most companies didn’t realize the data vulnerability of people using personal mobile phones for business use. So they now have an official BYOD policy and it includes downloading company software to your phone to control that risk.
Once their software is on your mobile phone the company can wipe all of their data from it in an instance if they wish. That was the basic need, control the data flow and be able to erase all company data once you prove yourself to be a worthless piece of shit employee dicking around all day doing nothing.
Release the hounds though on the level of employee paranoia about the company spying on them.
It leads to this phone conversation:
– You know they can track where you are all the time now.
Who’s they?
– Our company
Our company can’t process an expense report correctly, suddenly they’re tracking 1700 employees every move?
– Yes
Did you read the legal document on the software?
– No
It clearly states what they can and can’t see on your phone
– They’re lying
How much time each day do you spend on PornHub and Groovygrannies.com?
– (Silence)
You know that’s why I fist-pump you instead of shaking your hand
– (Silence)
Well I would guess they are also listening to phone calls then aren’t they?
– (Click)
But one thing is for certain.
Once you get your fingerprint logged into your iPhone Touch ID button, each time you use it, the data feeds directly to J. Edgar Hoover’s gravesite and you get automatically entered into the next Gay Rights Parade
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