Thanks – I wasn’t aware

You have those people – and there’s a lot of them – who seemingly have nothing better to do than to state the obvious over and over.

For example, let’s say you plan to play golf with three friends and it’s around 48 degrees outside – ok, we all agreed to play golf in the cold. But there’s always some ass-dick in the group who will keep saying – ‘Damn … it sure is cold out here’. No fucking shit … we all knew it when we decided to play golf. What’s the point in pointing it out over and over. It’s cold, we know, it was cold when we started playing golf and it’s cold right now too. Shut the fuck up about it and attempt to count all of your shots on each hole, not just the ones you like you cheating, whore, Dick van Dyke wannabe bitch.

Baseball’s Opening Day in late March or early April always brings the chance of any one of the four seasons as the weather for the game. One year it was cold, like low 40’s cold and this conversation on the phone or via text went on with people endlessly:

You going to Opening Day tomorrow?
Yes.
Wow, it’s gonna be cold!

Really, I didn’t look at the weather channel. Game is tomorrow and yet I had not checked it out even though it is March 30 and it once snowed three feet on this date in 1974. Did you get some divine intervention on the weather and only you know how it will be tomorrow and you’re doing me a solid by helping out?

Why don’t you rent a plane and skywrite in gigantic Helvetica font “It’s cold” above the city so everyone else knows.

So it’s gonna be cold – damn, thanks …

I hadn’t realized …

I was just gonna wake up, eat breakfast, take a shower, lather up in sunscreen, put on some shorts and head down to the game.