Can the weatherman (and I mean both genders here so when I write “weatherman” it also includes any person who might deliver the weather on TV and who also possesses a ‘gina) just simply tell us the weather for the day along with a three day forecast and not tell us how to dress, drive, travel, shit, piss or breathe.
You watch the weather channel these days and they spend a large amount of time telling us how we need to act based on the weather forecast. You got every dumbshit reading the weather barking some stupid order about how you should act based on their forecast as if like they have some level of credibility based on the fact that they are in front of camera. Hey fucker, you’re not a Pharmacist – you didn’t go to school to know what to do (although I sometimes wonder what makes a Pharmacist worth so much – it’s not a big job really, you’re basically a waiter – you read the note from the doctor, find the pills on the shelf and count out the number needed, then you put them in a little bottle and glue the instructions on the bottle.)
Although I do like the way Pharmacists get to stand on the gigantic platform acting they’re conducting the Philharmonic … usually there are about three or four wannabees and minions running around doing all of the work with the real Pharmacist every once in awhile answering a question from an incredibly old woman who couldn’t hear a train if she was laying on the tracks.
Incredibly Old Woman “Will this help with my hump?”
Pharmacist “Yes and it comes with a free shovel.”
Incredibly Old Woman “OK, thank you ma’am (she’s half blind too).”
Anyway back to weatherman – if you’re forecasting rain don’t call it a “rain event” as rain is not an adjective. It is rain. It is a noun. It falls from the clouds when gravity wins. It is not an event like a frickin tractor pull. Quit selling the weather to us fucker.
And don’t go on some 3 minute diatribe about carrying an umbrella and to be ‘careful on those roads as rain makes road slippery’. No shit. Did people always get wet when it rained before Joe Dumbass the weatherman helped us with our day? Just say “It’s gonna rain” … and I’m pretty sure we can take it from there. Maybe we want to get wet bitch.
I will say that the The Weather Channel on TV looks more like a Maxim shoot every day – yeah you have those bald goofy looking guys around to add credibility to the big weather events, but the majority of the TV time is used on some serious talent with big tits reading the weather.
They should have some weather tips on jerking off. “This weekend’s weather is perfect for rubbing one out to Monica’s morning forecast.”
You’ll never watch the The Weather Channel again without sporting a little wood.
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