Traffic Jams

Ever been on the highway in morning rush hour traffic and it’s pretty much bumper to bumper about 5-10 MPH and you’re hitting your brakes a lot?  Yeah … me too.

Ever be on the same highway with the same traffic jam and have some snapperhead decide he’s had enough so he decides to go half as fast as everyone else so he doesn’t have to hit his brakes – but by doing so he leaves a half mile stretch of highway in front of him?  Yeah me too and I am going to kill the motherfucker next time.

I already know what the dipshit will say just before I cut his head off with a pocketknife – “Hey pal, we all got to the exit at the same time as I sped up when the traffic cleared”.  You cocksucking bastard – what if everyone on the highway did the same thing you did?  The last guy in line would in Northern Canada before he ever moved his car if everyone decided they need a half mile wide of track in a traffic jam.  Move your fucking car with the traffic pattern even if it goes against your god-given right to be a selfish prick.

You find this same asshole flinging his car into the right lane at the last second regardless of the sign miles back that said “lane ends, merge right” and at the same time scaring the shit out of some old lady in a Buick (granted that same shit was going in the old lady’s diaper later in the day but maybe she was going to a Quilting Party and didn’t bring a spare).

So there you go – the lane-jumping bastard saved 3 seconds on his day and someone’s grandmother has to smell like shit all day.