Song Lyrics

For years, song writers have had suggestive lyrics in songs.  Remember “Love to Love You Baby” by Donna Summer – she had about 29 orgasms on the long version of the song.  On YouTube there is a video of her lip-synching it with some weird dancers, apparently on acid, dancing behind her, hilarious.

Here are my takes on the best lyrics with suggestive (but no one thinks of them that way) meaning in songs:

• Best Song about an Erection – from “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro … “See the tree, how big it’s grown but friend it hasn’t been too long when it wasn’t big” 
  – Bobby was sitting around the house one day back in the early ’70’s when he thought – you know, I got this little thing going around my head about writing a song about getting a hard-on and bragging about it.  Shit … I think I’ll write an entire song about my wife dying just so I can sneak the hard-on part in and no one will notice.
   
• Best Song about Masturbation – from “I Like Dreaming” by Kenny Nolan … 
  – “I like dreamin’ cause dreamin’ can make you mine, I like dreamin’ … closing my eyes and feeling fine.”
  – Helllooooo Kenny whack-off much?  Then he adds this little extra later in the song … 
  – “I like dreamin’ cause dreaming can make you mine, I like holding you close and touching your skin, even if it’s in my mind.” 
  – Even if it’s in my mind??  The only question I have is whether you finish in a sock, in the sink, or on your stomach?
   
• Next Best Song about Masturbation – from “When I Need You” by Leo Sayer (who looks really gay so who knows what he is thinking about)
  – “When I need love, I hold out my hands and I touch love, I never knew there was so much love, keeping me warm night and day”
  – I hold out my hands and I touch love???  Geesh, real subtle … why not “I grab my dick and yank it” …
  – Keeping me warm night and day???  Why don’t you just buy a Craftmatic Adjustable Bed and blow yourself all weekend.