Sing … sing a song

You know what I really hate?

Songs that everyone sings along to – not because they all love the song – but because the song has entered into our culture in ways other than the radio.

Example 1 – Sweet Caroline … good fucking gawd what a fucktard moment in any party where the DJ plays this piece of shit song and turns down the sound in the middle of the chorus … so everyone can go BOMP! BOMP! BOMP! after Neil Diamond sings Sweet Caroline.

Then it’s equally nauseating when he further sings Good Times Never Seemed So Good … and the drunk dumbshits warble SO GOOD! SO GOOD! SO GOOD! … fucking shut up.

I believe this abortion of a musical moment all started when the Red Sox were on the path to finally winning a world series. They played this song and the beer soaked crowed all started doing the Bomp-cubed stupidity and then people saw it during the World Series.

Example 2 – Mony Mony – Billy Idol version – had its hey-day back in the 80’s when the dance floor would scream GET LAID GET FUCKED (classy move you yuppie, boomer coke-heads) and also GET YOUR BALLS OFF at various points in the song. I remember this from my dance floor days of Reagan I and II – but I seldom danced because it’s idiotic – plus I was usually in a vodka haze so not much got in or out of my head.

Example 3 – Group Singing Events – Several years ago, I was asked if I wanted to attend with others in my neighborhood, a showing of The Sound of Music in a huge theater with lyrics on the screen so we could all sing along with the songs. I couldn’t say ‘good gawd fuck no’ fast enough — that movie is a piece of history and Julie Andrews performance was legendary. It’s one of my all-time favorites and to think I might have to watch it and hear – some inbred, hillbilly fuck singing along in a key only known to farm animals – with the greatest melodies ever written … frightening.

Example 4 – Another singing travesty is spending $500 on tickets to see some re-tread, pop band touring and playing songs that are 40-50 years old … and then you realize the lead singer can’t even come close to hitting the notes anymore so he points his microphone at the crowd and the crowd all sings the song for him. It’s a special moment when we’re all the same and space and time are meaningless in a cosmic consciences of ONE – bullshit … it’s … ‘I just spent $500 to hear thousands of drunk, high old boomer fucks warble some horseshit

Note to reader – if you’re ever in my car and a song comes on you like, don’t even think of singing along with it.