Pat Robertson

Incredibly stupid quotes from Pat Robertson … who seems to want to juice up the lord for destruction … he also wants to blame a large amount of historical events on fairy tales and nonsense. Here you go … you can decide whether you want to give him your money.

10. “Lord, give us righteous judges who will not try to legislate and dominate this society. Take control, Lord! We ask for additional vacancies on the court.” –Pat Robertson – Real Christ-like Pat … “hey lord, can you gas one these mofo’s on the court … please!!!!! We ask in your name oh lord … KILL SOMEONE IN A ROBE.”

9. “Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.” –Pat Robertson – Oh shut the fuck up … get a little heat and bad press equals slaughtering 6 millions Jews, or Rwanda back in ’94 or the Crusades (oops, that was good for Pat’s brand) … or pick your genocide.

8. “I would warn Orlando that you’re right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you, This is not a message of hate — this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It’ll bring about terrorist bombs; it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor.” –Pat Robertson, on “gay days” at Disneyworld – A meteor? Hard to think that a meteor or tornado or earthquake can hit Orlando and only target “them god-hating fags” but Pat will pray real hard and work it out so no “proper” people will be killed.

7. “The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” –Pat Robertson – C’mon Pat, the correct order is … become lesbians first THEN you practice witchcraft THEN you leave your husband THEN you kill your children THEN (if you have time left) destroy capitalism … jeesh Pat, your order was dumb as you can’t become a lesbian that late in the process as it is the lynchpin of everything.

6. “I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that’s the way it is, period.” –Pat Robertson – Yeah ladies, so don’t gettin no crazy ideas about getting a job, having an opinion, or thinking. Just lay there and let the headship do his thing.

5. “I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don’t wonder why he hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for his help because he might not be there.” –Pat Robertson, after the city of Dover, Pennsylvania voted to boot the current school board, which instituted an intelligent design policy that led to a federal trial – That’s right Dover, go get yourself a new god.

4. “God considers this land to be his. You read the Bible and he says ‘This is my land,’ and for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says, ‘No, this is mine.’ … He was dividing God’s land. And I would say, ‘Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations, or the United States of America.’ God says, ‘This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.'” –Pat Robertson, on why Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a massive stroke – Nice god you got there Pat. Real compassionate … someone might have thrown your little shakedown TV show a few bucks for this one …

3. “Maybe we need a very small nuke thrown off on Foggy Bottom to shake things up” –Pat Robertson, on nuking the State Department – A small nuke? I guess you mean the small nukes you see in the movies that blow up things but don’t rain down radiation and have innocent people’s skin slide off their faces.

2.”You know, I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination – you don’t? … could have fooled me as the rest of this quote is how to kill someone, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war … We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.” –Pat Robertson, calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez – Can’t believe Jesus was with you on this one.

1. “It may be a blessing in disguise. – nice blessing – thousands dead, millions homeless, no food no water … Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel – heel is sort of a misnomer, they were slaves – of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever – Napoleon the third was born in 1808 and the Haitian SLAVE REVOLT was in 1804 … no need to have correct data when spewing nonsense is there you colossal dumbass. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. – True story????? And so, the devil said, okay it’s a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other.” –Pat Robertson, on the earthquake in Haiti that destroyed the capital and killed tens of thousands of people, Jan. 13, 2010 – The devil said “it’s a deal”??? So if they would have just stayed slaves, none of this would have happened. It’s Haiti’s fault. Stay slaves, No Earthquake …