Party time?

First – when you’re college age or mid twenties, you always get called in to help a friend move.

“Hey we’re moving at 9:00 AM Saturday I could use your help” … best friends are there are 8:30 with donuts.  The next group trickles in a little after 9:00 and dick around long enough for some of the heavier items to be moved.  Third tier friends show up a little before 10:00 and grab a box or two but basically try to find your girlfriend’s underwear drawer and/or dildo.  Last group of friends drive by around lunch and looks to see if the truck is still in the driveway.

The laziest fuck in the group pretends he has an Engineering degree from MIT and says “I’ll stay in U-haul and organize the truck space and make sure it’s all secure”.  Bullshit.  How difficult is it to put the bulky/heavy stuff on bottom and throw all of the other shit on top.  You big pussy MaryAnn Motherfucker … you just want stand in the truck all morning while everyone else is doing all of the work.

You know what they say – “Any friend will help you move, but your best friend will help you move a body.”

Second – there are the Painting Parties in your late 20’s.

“Hey we’re having a painting party at my house/condo and everyone’s coming over to paint and we’re going to have free pizza and beer.  It will be a blast!”   Sounds ri-goddamn-diculous to me.  Paint your place for beer?  Do I look like an idiot?  Hit an AA meeting and recruit someone there.  Why don’t I just buy my own pizza and beer and you guys go screw yourselves.  And who wants their frickin house painted by a bunch of drunks? 

A blast?

Hire a painter you dick.