Online Dating Sites

These sites make it look like all you have to do is enter your information and some girl will show up at your house with lubricant and a spittoon. And everyone in the commercials for these sites is great looking, giving people the indication that it isn’t just goofy looking fucks who have a difficult time getting dates.

I see the eHarmony and Match.com commercials the most on TV – there are others including the ones who try to match up single Christians with each other (you think they could just pray to meet someone and save the sign-up fees) … jeesh, what’s next Whiteguy.com (Wanna white boy? Tired of the brothers? Log in and fall in love)

Actually I have heard that the Yahoo Personal site is the one to go to if you just want some action. Those “biographies” – so to speak – of the people are great …

You have the: “Single Mom, kids out of house, have lots of time, wants to have some fun” (read this to mean, “My vibrator is broken, my fingers are sore, please someone – Plow Me”) …

You have the: “Tired of the bar scene, wants to go on long walks, looking for meaning” (bullshit – long walks my ass? No one likes long walks, read this to mean, “I have been blowing guys in the parking lot of these bars for months but need a change”) …

You have the more direct: “Wanna fuck? Message me” …

I suppose the internet is a great place to meet people but I always hear a tinge of oddness in the voices of people when I hear this conversation.

Hey, did you hear that Dave is getting married?

… No, to whom?

Oh some girl he met on the internet.

Since no one ever mentions how people meet OTHER than meeting on the internet, perhaps a generation or two needs to pass before I don’t hear this conversation in my head when I hear the conversation above:

Hey, did you hear that Dave is getting married?

… No, to whom?

Some girl that was as desperate as he was to meet someone so they both paid money to have an internet site “crunch” their personal biographies together as they were both too insecure or homely to actually try to meet people …

… Really, did they fuck on the first date?

… Shit yeah.