Motivational Seminars

What part of Motivational Seminars actually work?  They have these bastards all the time so apparently they don’t work very well.  Like Seinfeld said in the Car Reservation episode – “You know how to TAKE the reservation, you just don’t know how to HOLD the reservation.”  So you know how to get motivated (shit you went to the Seminar for starters) … you just can’t stay motivated.

But these seminars are a fricking scam.  It’s always the same four or five guys (with a chick thrown in there whenever they need to pink it up a little) on stage presenting the same message of:

Peak Performance/Mega-Watt Your Life … or

How to fuck like a porn star and not die from Chlamydia.

The only people getting rich off these things are the presenters on stage feeding off the fact that people want to be like them – Poised, Polished, Successful and motherfucking Motivated.  People come storming out of these seminars all gassed up looking like they just ate 12 bowls of Fruity Pebbles with a sugar high ready to take on the world.

But by the fourth day after the seminar most people are right back to their old, tired mental approaches to their day and they drift back to being the type of person who thinks externally-directed Motivational Seminars (at $400 a clip) will cure them of being a lazy-ass.  Sure Motivational Seminars give you some good ideas on things, but you already know most of them or have access to them, but you don’t ever change because you’re a lazy fuck who goes to these seminars just so people can see you at them and think you’re a Winner – like them – and then you all jerk each other off while you gaze at the seminar brochures.

You need to get your ass to a seminar that will cure you of not changing your bad habits and attitudes – not seminars that tell you what to do, you already know what to do to get better, get healthier, get motivated, get thinner – you just don’t ever fucking do it you lazy piece of shit. 

How stupid do you feel when someone you don’t know stands on a stage with a microphone and a line of crap a mile long and starts reading his professionally prepared propaganda bullshit while you sit out there like a moron $400 poorer thinking …

Wow … I wish I could be like him

Motivate me Mr. JohnnyComeBigDick