Lost In Space

First off, let’s all agree right now that Lost In Space was the first and so far only Science Fiction TV show that was ever believable. The Robinson family with Major West lifted off Earth on the Jupiter II and within 45 minutes of the first episode, the Robot had blown up half the spaceship and the bodies of the Robinson’s and West – which were frozen for a five year flight to Alpha Centauri – had immediately thawed out as they all fell out of their cylinders – apparently without a hitch in their physical or mental capabilities.

Then that same first episode ends with them lost in space an hour from take-off … in just an hour they were somehow so far away from Earth that they could not determine a planet or a star that looked familiar … talk about flooring the motherfucker.

Then episode after episode, they would crash land on some crazy ass planet but never seemed to hurt their spaceship – but the Robot in the first episode in a ten minute scene beat the fuck out of the same spaceship so badly they couldn’t even determine where they were an hour after liftoff.

And they always needed Deutronium for fuel – they drilled for it and found it immediately on every friggin planet they crashed into – yet the original flight was a five year flight to Alpha Centauri and a five year flight back – but somehow they ran out of fuel in episode four.  Hey Mission Control – fill it up next time bitch.

They never showed it, but we all know that the Lost In Space crew were hooking up … you’re lost in space, you got nothing to do, what is stopping Major West from rogering Judy just about every night? And you know Mr. And Mrs. Robinson were screwing every time Will and Penny went outside for some science experiments.  “Will, I wanna fuck your mom, take Penny and run around on the strange planet for an hour or so … take Dr. Smith with you too but don’t let him touch you.”

Dr. Smith was obviously a pedophile and was after Will from day one.  Mrs. Robinson might have thrown him a courtesy BJ is he would have just left Will alone for one minute.

And the Robot would have been jerking off three times a day too if he didn’t have those red claws for hands … and if he had a dick.