Knock three times

A million years ago (or back in the 1970’s) there was a song called “Knock Three Times” … it was essentially a song about apartment dwellers wanting to screw.  The song title was meant to be a signal from someone in a third floor apartment knocking three times on the ceiling if he wanted the girl on the floor above him to come down to his apartment and blow him or whatever.  At least the ‘ritual’ was rooted in something one can comprehend.  “Hey lady above me, if you hear three knocks, get wet cause I’ll be up in five minutes to bury one.”

Rituals are odd … Think about ancient tribes throwing a virgin in a volcano to appease its rumblings.  It makes sense if you didn’t know that volcanoes tick and rumble for a long time before erupting … but some leader orders you to throw a virgin in the volcano and then when it doesn’t blow right after, then the virgin stopped the volcano.
 

That’s how you can get power quickly, bullshitting everyone.  Of course, you could have taken a shit in the volcano and the same result as the virgin tossing would have occurred.  And you would think that every virgin in the Village would have been walking around the night before the event saying … “Hey, any of you guys want to fuck me?  Anyone?  Fuck me?  Tonight?  Please?
 

Let’s face it, if you’re a guy and can’t get laid the night before the virgin-tossing event, then you are a gigantic homo.

And a ritual is just a group OCD episode anyway.  Flicking a light switch a hundred times to get the switch to turn the electricity off “just right” is pretty weird if you’re doing it alone in your kitchen.  But gather 50 needy people around and tell them that this light switch ‘ritual’ will bring rain during a drought and you got yourself a good start on a religion – especially when it finally rains (which is does anyway because it always fricking rains at some point).

But people feel better if they can associate a causal source to a random event.

Like going up to a group of women at a bar and saying “Hello ladies, I notice two of you are wearing black tonight, which one of you wants to bang me?”.