I got my own virus bitch

Recently I was sick with the cold/flu (… you ever ask a Dr the difference?  Watch his finger probing ass talk like a crack whore for five minutes describing the same symptoms for both and then walk away) and my voice got really deep (it’s always a pretty good baritone but the cold/flu got my voice deeper than Barry White huffing testosterone off his back-up singers titties).

So after I was able to get out of bed and get back to work, I would be talking to people on the phone and they would ask me if I had a cold … I would say yes … and everyone would immediately say “My sister (or whatever) had that and she was down for 4 days”.  Way to ask about my health cocksucker.

Look … bad for her but I don’t give a fuck about your sister unless she wants to take a cab (I’m not picking her up) to my house and blow me.  And I don’t have her virus as I don’t know your sister (somehow I missed the day it was my turn on her) and is there only one virus in the world?

I got my own virus bitch. 

Post your dumbass sister’s herpes on Facebook or something as I don’t give a damn.

Nobody asked me if I needed anything or how I was doing, they just wanted to tell me about some dope they knew that had the same virus as me and that somehow I got it.  You ain’t special chucklehead, you got someone else’s virus.

Eat shit people, I got my own virus and when I see your sister I am going to give it to her (along with a couple other possible viruses) and then she can limp home.

So next time you ask someone if they’re ill, and they answer yes … ask them how they are feeling and resist the urge to redirect the conversation back to you and some idiot relative that once had a rash.