Hospitals

Does anyone with any class ever get sick as every time I visit a hospital, the place is crawling with more low-lifes than your standard flea market.  It’s like Wal-Mart with beds.  The outside smoking area is the Waiting Room and every patient has like a dozen or so guests (seemingly because there’s heat, running water and cable TV in the hospital).

And half of the guests look like they should also be admitted to the hospital.  Is a limp a prerequisite for visiting a hospital these days?  I got on the elevator in a hospital once and thought it was a wax museum of hillbillies.  I told one guy not to take a nap in the Waiting Room because someone might get a shovel.

And I’ve been a patient in the hospital more than a few times and not once did I ever want guests.  The hospital is not a social event.  Let’s see, I have a tube up my cock releasing a continuous stream of piss into a bag on the side of the bed … I shit myself twice and haven’t bathed or showered in days … oh look, here comes Aunt Helen with flowers and a book and wants to know “How I’m doing?”  … can’t you see I’m doing great, now get the fuck out of here …

And people, if you are visiting someone in the hospital and you know the room number of the patient, there is no need to look in every patient’s room as you stroll down the hall.  All patients look like hell, some of them are dead, they all smell and they don’t need you and your white trash band of meth-heads peering in on them.

So next time you’re in the hospital, just be thankful you get to leave the fucking place when you’re done after meeting with your Uncle where you say – “Shit Bob, for being terminal you look pretty good.”