Hey Everybody …

Saw this on Facebook.

“Hey everybody, I’m taking a break from Facebook for a while.  If anyone needs me, call my mobile.”

Are you fucking kidding me?  You feel the need to announce that you will no longer be on Facebook as you feel others – over time – will wonder where you’ve been.  You think that they will actually be thinking of you on an active basis to even recognize that you’re no longer posting anything.  Or that they might applaud the depth of your character that you care enough about your 347 casual online friends to make a formal proclamation to them of your incredible and historic decision to no longer engage in a mobile app.

I’ll write it again.
Are you fucking kidding???

How did you achieve such an elevated state? What did you do, go into a deep trance and meditate and hope your inner consciousness would guide you on how to best move forward?  Did you start chanting like Buddhists and hope something would emerge from the darkness?

It’s Facebook.  
It’s an App you fucking dope. 
No one gives a shit whether you’re posting things to it or jerking off in a sock.

But you went further on your post.  You offered to the stunned masses – whom you hope wouldn’t chuck it all after reading about your decision – an option to call your mobile if they need you.  
You know your Facebook friends were going:

I have abandonment issues, did you read where Bob is taking a break from Facebook?  What are we going to do?  He said if we need him to call his mobile, but he didn’t post it.  We haven’t talked with or seen Bob since 9^th grade but thankfully we rediscovered him on Facebook – and now he’s leaving again.  I can’t take this level of rejection. 
Bob — Where are you?– I don’t have your mobile number —- You motherfucker!!!!

If anyone ever PM me on Facebook asking me to call them, I would ignore it for a day and then respond with the link to this rant

… and then de-friend them.