Every morning, I stop in my office building’s little restaurant area to get a cup of coffee. Most mornings, I walk over grab a cup, pull the lever down and fill my cup with coffee. I then grab a lid and put it on the cup and pay $2.
Some mornings, there is some numbnut standing in front of the coffee area doing the same thing but he is loading his poured coffee up with about 1000 packs of sugar (or that sweetener shit in the purple/maroon packets) – he flicks the packet about 20 times to get all of the sugar at the end of the packet so when he tears open the packet, none of the sugar trickles out. He does it for every frickin packet (not thinking he could flick more than one goddamn packet at a time seeing as they might weigh about half an ounce).
And he stirs the coffee after every packet of sugar he pours in too the little fuckhead. All the while he is chatting on his phone about some horseshit …
Then once he is done with the sugar, he moves on to the cream (which proves this guy takes it up the ass). He opens the cream packet, pours it in, stirs – opens the packet, pours it in, stirs – open, pours, stirs, open, pours, stirs …. the little fairymeister.
None of this would bother me except the bastard stands in front of the coffee the entire time blocking anyone else from getting coffee.
Look fucker, we all know you’re a gift from god to our planet, but move your ass away from the main area once you pour your coffee. How about you grab your sugar packets, your cream cups and a stirrer the size of your cock, and move your dumbass about five feet to the left and stand there while you chat and make your masterpiece.
And to make matters worse, after he finally leaves, the coffee area looks like Barista training with Stevie Wonder as there is sugar and cream all over the place.
If I could trip him as he walks by me, I would … (the coffee guy, not Stevie, I know I could trip him).
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