Get off my hair …

Rants about airline travel are somewhat old.  I do have one about “getting off a plane” but that was because some numb-nuts jumped the line after we landed and took off up the aisle … you might say that he had a connecting flight – fair enough but so might all of the people he jumped in front of …

But I am going to stab some fucker in the eye with a pen the next time I am sitting in my airplane seat and some cumface behind me decides to go the bathroom — and by doing so he grabs the top of my seatback as leverage to lift his fat ass off his seat to go take a piss.  And the ass-eyes doesn’t use my seatback for balance but actually pulls it about a foot backwards grabbing my head and hair in the process.  It’s like some big, giant claw comes reaching over my seatback then squeezes down while he  lifts his bloated, fat, drunk carcass out of his seat.

You stupid, lazy dick – all you need to do is lean forward, get your feet under you and lift yourself with your legs and core – unless you live at Rally’s you hillbilly fuck.

On another note …

On a plane, I will not lean my seat back. 

The extra comfort it might afford me pales to the pain the person behind me will feel.  I have some humanity in me.

But people who do lean their seat back always do it slowly with that little head turn – while they push the button and start pushing back – to see what’s behind them – as if there might be something behind them that would make them stop the process.

 “Oh there appears to be a Jesuit Priest behind me performing an exorcism, good thing I looked”.  No dickwad, it’s a miserable traveler who wants to kill you.

When it happens to me, I always (and I mean always) wait until I can tell they are fast asleep and I pull down the tray table and then slam that fucking thing back up as hard as possible.

Watching that person jump out of their seat is always a winner —

Wide awake are we? 

Who has the power now?

 … glance back at me again motherfucker.