Fantastic Four

I realized that the cartoon – and later a movie – Fantastic Four (which hopefully is not the nickname you gave your cock) had to be written by a man.  I mean, right off the bat there’s three dudes and one chick which makes for a nice ‘train’ at the Fantastic Four Wrap Party.

But during the movie they are floating in Outer Space (in a spaceship dumbass) and they get caught in some sort of radioactive storm (3 million satellites and a million engineers in Houston and not one of them saw it) which somehow doesn’t kill them or make their faces fall off.   Nope they look and act fine aside from the odd abilities that their bodies now possess.

This is where the “I know a dude wrote this” comes in … the one guy can be on fire and fly – the other turns into a body made of rocks – the third guy can make his body stretch and the girl can make herself invisible.

So — the dudes get long, hot and hard and the chick disappears.  Sounds perfect to me. 

No women would have come up with those abilities.  If a woman wrote the Fantastic Four, she would have had three chicks and one dude – and the dude would have been a flaming homosexual with one of the women being a chunky-monkey and the other one mildly homely.  The fourth (this would be the writer of course) would be average looking but look like a goddess next to these three.

Then they would have gone through the storm with no illness or face-sliding off issues but the guy would have been even more flaming and girls would be fatter and homelier with the average looking girl (the writer of course) having huge tits and a shitload of shoes. 

… and a Liz purse of course.