Man – do the drug companies have their commercials all wrong.
They always show some healthy looking couple – with the man always looking great but we all know he hasn’t sported any wood since he built a deck. His wife is caring and understanding but she knows and he knows, they’re going broke over her Duracell needs.
They have that one commercial where the guy is talking to himself in his reflection in a window. His reflection is trying to convince his real self to go have a doctor look at his dick. His real self finally agrees and then he is all happy meeting his wife for dinner and the last shot is his real self thanking (with a little knowing smile) his reflection for forcing him to go see a doctor to get a hard-on.
They should have this commercial instead …
Scene 1
Fade In …
That same guy standing in front of his bathroom mirror, nude, dripping in sweat, yelling at his cock “Move motherfucker move!!!” The woman is in the bedroom waiting to fire up the heavy machinery when her husband finally walks slowly out of the bathroom with his head down …. she says “Give up Limpy?” He says yes and she flips the torpedo switch to “Blast Off” … he curls up in a fetal position and cries.
Scene 2
He scores some Viagra, gets a high-priced hooker (cause why waste a world-class boner on a woman who calls you Limpy). After spending his wife’s birthday present money on the hooker, he drives home, packs some shit in a suitcase, throws her a sack of D-Cell batteries and says he is going to Vegas for the weekend. Then he grabs the Viagra, winks at the camera and says … “Limpy has some fucking to do …”
… Fade Out
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