Drop my bacon

Many years ago – ok 1987 – back when I was a recruiter for an IT consulting company, I interviewed a gentleman who was as old then as I am today.  I believe he was 60 and I am currently 59.  Close enough so shut the fuck up.

His name was Jim and he had experience in a software package called SDM70.  That skill set in 1987 had very limited opportunity because unless a company kept that shitty software from – I assume 1970 – then Jim had no connection.  He was considered too old for most companies to invest in training so Jim had some employment challenges.

When I met with him, he had just a little bit of early Parkinson’s too.  I could see his head was shaking just a bit – but he was literally the nicest guy ever so I wished him well and kept his resume.

It just so happened that at the time I had ‘deal’ going with one of the local recruiting agencies as I would add some of their job openings when I ran ads in the newspaper.  Yes kids, we didn’t have the internet like today so every time a cat did something funny (and went viral) we didn’t hear about it for years.  Putting jobs in newspaper ads for positions you don’t have is fairly frowned upon – some might say illegal – so I’m pretty sure I never told my boss.

In any event, I remembered – at one point – that that agency needed SDM70 so I called them and told them all about Jim and talked him up a bit and gave them his resume and went on with my day.

Weeks later Jim calls me and tells me that he got a job from my referral to the agency and he wanted to buy me lunch to thank me.  At the time, my office was 45 miles from my home and he was working 23 miles from my work.  I must have cancelled three lunches as I didn’t want to drive 45 to work, 23 to and 23 back from lunch and then 45 back home.

At one point, I offered to meet him for breakfast as it would be easier to for me to meet on the drive in to work and he agreed.  We met at a Marriott for breakfast and he was telling me all about the job and how happy he was to be working.

Then, he pulls out an envelope and slips it across the table to me while saying “This is for you and all you did helping me get back to work”.  I didn’t drop my bacon (I know my higher priorities) as I looked into the envelope and saw $1000 as I sifted through nine $100 bills and two $50’s.

I said Jim what the hell as I didn’t do anything but make a couple calls to some guys I know and let them know about you.  He went on about how I gave him time on the interview and then called those guys and said good things about him and followed up (… apparently at age 60, most recruiters treat you like dogshit) on things … on and on he went.

I told him I can’t keep this money as it looks like a bribe.  He said it’s my money because offering it to me now is a gift, not a bribe (very similar to the final scene in the movie Midnight Run).

So I put the envelope in my jacket (while singing to myself “I stashed the bill in my shirt” from the Harry Chapin song Taxi). Near the end I asked Jim how he could afford to give me $1000 if he was out of work for so long and needed a job so badly.

 He said:

“My wife died last year and I haven’t had anything to do.  At my age, I needed something to keep busy but no one would hire me.  I have money but wanted a job.  You did more for me than anyone and I want to thank you.”

At that point I might have dropped my bacon as being 27 at the time, I could obviously understand what he saying, but I couldn’t relate to it.

I said … “You want to thank me then pick up breakfast too old man.” (I didn’t say this)

So we’re still in 1987 mind you and I had just gotten married so that evening I told my wife.  I pulled out the envelope and gave her one of the $50 to spend on whatever she wanted and kept the other $50 for myself. We then had this conversation.

Me – What do you want to do with the remaining $900?
Her – Let’s get a new bed, I’m tired of sleeping on the ghosts of your old girlfriends.
Me – Good idea but we’ll need a new a couch and carpet on the stairs too.

I’m divorced now — might have planted the seed right there.