Dreams

We’re not talking dreams as in “one day, I will walk on the moon” dreams … you need those dreams/goals so you can get out of bed in morning (unless the person next to you is some alien looking oddity that somehow looked pretty good 5 hours earlier when your woman-vetting process was heavily influenced by the haze of 12 Grey Goose and Fresca’s.)

No – not those dreams – but the dreams you get when sleeping and the idiotic connections you make about those dreams and your real life. In other words, your ability to work backwards on logic and somehow connect unconscious thoughts that randomly occur from the activities the brain goes through while sleeping – and then, when awake and apparently lucid, draw conscious conclusions about what the dreams meant.

Supposedly, humans are the only conscious beings on the planet and apparently we have the only souls too.  Hurray for us.  Too bad for the other 15-30 million species on the planet but since we are the only species that can write, we make the rules too.  I’m pretty sure my dog had a soul (aside from peeing on everything) … and he had dreams too – you ever see a dog sleeping on his side and he starts huffing and puffing and moving his legs and making weird noises – the little bastard is chasing a squirrel.

Anyway, I was at a party and these two women were talking about their goofy dreams and trying to figure out what they meant and I blurted out … “they don’t mean nothing” (great grammar).  I kept prattling on and said dreams are a physical activity your brain goes through as one of the reasons we need sleep.  It is essentially processing info from one part of the brain to another part of the brain.  It’s not the real “you” stripped of the Matrix finally seeing reality so you can make a difference in the world.

Then … after you wake up in the morning and remember bits and pieces of some dream (you make up shit along the way that wasn’t in the dream too) and then you start the “waste of time” process of figuring out what the dream meant (remember “they don’t mean nothing”).

It’s always the same selective memory pants dance that people do when they want to find a causal agent to explain a random event.  People want meaningful patterns or order/explanations and when they don’t see it immediately, they re-arrange things after the event in order to get to an explanation that makes sense. 

Dreams are a very good example of things that are meaningless but people want to assign some meaning to – so are ghosts, goblins, UFO’s, Big Foot, demons, Tony Larussa, lawyers and Sarah Palin.

So next time you have a dream where you are getting spanked by midgets dressed in Prom dresses while in the same room as your grandmother making a brisket while dressed like Britney Spears … just let it go and wish for the days you’d wake up all gooey …