Closest to the …

Ever play Fantasy Football or Pick ‘Em pools?

Ever get to the tiebreaker where you have to pick the combined score of the two teams? Sure you have.

The Commissioner will state this about the tiebreaker “The winner will be the player that is closest to the combined score without going over.”

“Without going over?”

What the fuck?

Why can’t you go over the combined score and win?

Fucker, this ain’t The Price is Right. Bob Barker – who is about 1000 years old now – started this shit because he was too stupid to be able to quickly determine who was closer to the price of the item. The show was only 30 minutes long and they couldn’t spend half the time having Bob try to determine if $538 was closer to $500 then $471.

If the item was $500, all he needed to do was look backwards to the first number and that dipshit won. It’s not like you needed to be a Rhodes Scholar to hold a microphone and ask your standard idiot if they can guess the price of a can of fucking tuna.

Bob sure as hell wasn’t getting any Math help from the models who looked like they couldn’t count to 11 and a half unless Ron Jeremy was plowing them.

To be fair, Bob finally got his act together in 1989 and started screwing one of the models but she broke it off and sued him when he wouldn’t … (ahem) … come on down. Shit, he was 68 years old at the time and it was before Viagra, so she had a point.

Anyway back to the topic …

With today’s technology and access to the World Wide Web we can now more quickly discern if the score of the game ends up 32-31 that a tiebreaker guess of 64 should defeat a tiebreaker guess of 9.

But then again, I’m not 142,000 years old like Bob Barker.