Carnated was good enough

There are some goofy fucks out in the world but the nutjobs who think they have been reincarnated are some of the goofiest.

First off, they always seem to become aware of this magical past while under hypnosis, therapy or stoned out their minds.  They always see themselves in the past in some grainy black and white version of a French wheat field with everyone working together to harvest the goddamn wheat for winter.  They’re popular, good-looking, fun … or they’re a Princess or a Duke or some bullshit better view of their current dumbass self.

Right … that’s how it works.

No one was a slave or illiterate or full of disease or just a fucking idiot walking around stealing food and being a complete pain in the ass.  No one was reincarnated from 1935 during the Depression drinking sewer water and living in a box.  They’re always from 1765 France or some other era where they are in the 2% who lived past the age of 40 and had enough to eat.

Under hypnosis I discovered I was a Princess in 1765, a Duchess in 1456 and a Queen back in 1232 in Iceland.

Sure you were … and possibly if someone gets reincarnated in the future and they get the current version of you, they get to believe they were doling out blowjobs three nights a week from behind a Wal-Mart dumpster.

That’s a long day way from a French wheat field.